Personal Growth Corner: Mentors and Role models

I, as well as other people like me in this part of the world grew up with these two words being used wrongly. 

But I later discovered the difference between them, and their applications. So, now, my ears tingle and my eyes blink when I hear anyone using them wrongly. 

Who is a mentor?

A mentor is someone who is teaching/training another person to be like him. He is an expert who is transferring his knowledge and experiences to another person known as the mentee. 

The purpose of mentorship is for progression and sustainability. 

A mentor has you at heart and finds it difficult to leave you without direction; though, sometimes they give you that hard push that seemingly weakens you, but are actually meant to make you stronger. 

A mentor must have your contact and you too his/her own. This makes your meeting and communication regular and easy. 

Over the years, nature has produced real mentors and mentees. 

I will take some from the Bible. 

Jesus Christ was a real mentor. He was such a good mentor to His disciples that people mistook Him to be one of them when they were seen together in public. He was so involved in their lives. This was evident when Judas Iscariot came to betray him. Judas needed to give Jesus a kiss in order to differentiate Him from the disciples. 

Still on mentor Jesus... 

Jesus was always eating and drinking, and doing things with his disciples. 

He regularly gave them assignments to know their level of assimilation and growth. He told them to go cast out devils and preach the gospel in the book of Matthew but they didn't do it well because they were still learning. When He discovered it, He knew it was faith and fasting that they needed. So, He made them realize how little their faith was, such that they sought to be increased in faith. 

After his resurrection from the dead, He still needed to know how practical they were with His teachings, but unfortunately, they had gone back to fishing, leaving what He had taught them. 

As a good mentor, He used that fishing exercise to remind them of His teaching. And as He was doing this, He knew they were mere mortals, flesh and blood. So, He saw the need to equip them forever with the Holy Ghost after when He would have left them. 

Of course we know that when He ascended into heaven, He sent them the Holy Spirit who became their guide, and still is today for those who believe in Him. 

Lessons learnt 

1. A mentor guides and assists. 

2. He doesn't leave you unestablished. 

3. A mentor leaves you with a guide. This can come in form of books, connections, etc. 

4. A mentor knows your secrets because in the process of your mentorship, they'll need some information for your learning and unlearning, etc. 

The apprentice system of Nigeria's Igbo tribe is a form of mentorship because the master 'settles' the servants with some part of his wealth at the end of training, and they already must have learnt the business well. 

We have other forms of mentorship too.

Who is a role model? 

A role model is someone who you admire to be like. Before you can be mentored, you must have admired the person either consciously or unconsciously. 

My experience in teaching creative arts taught me that a Model is something to be imitated, usually an object or a figure. 

How do I know a role model?

• A role model may not necessarily know you in person. 

• They may not know that you want to be like them, except you approach them for mentorship. 

• Role models usually don't have your contact, but mentors do. 

• A role model is usually admired from afar, and his/her admirers are called fans. 

Lessons 

1. A role model is not a mentor until they mentor you. 

2. A role model gains more from you because you are his fan. You pay in order to attend all his teachings and exhibitions, and generally in order to be in their space. But a mentor will put you by his side. 

3. A role model calls you a fan because you like him. But a mentor calls you his or her mentee, and nurtures you. A role model sees you as a fan and doesn't have time for one-on-one conversations with you, except if they agree to mentor you.

You can have multiple role models at a time, but a single mentor at a time. 

Choose your mentors and role models wisely.

Lilian Uchechi Eze is a personal growth and development advocate, nutritionist-dietitian, and co-author of The Paul Anunaso Blog's #HealthTalk Series. She writes from Lagos, Nigeria.