#HEALTHTALK 26: The penis size and men's sexual performance—Dr. Promise Okeke

I've met a lot of young males complain about the size of their penis. You may feel your penile length is short when compared to that of your brothers' or friends'. 

However, looking down at your penis from above makes it appear small when compared to how it looks if sighted frontally (that is, looking in the mirror), or from the side. This is why when you look at others', theirs' may seem way bigger. 

Usually, you tend to tie your self-confidence to your penile length. You feel that people (especially your spouse or would-be spouse) will look down on you if they know, or that you would not be able to satisfy your partner. But hear this: Penis size doesn't affect sexuality functions such as drive and orgasms. Keep reading, I will show you some data that backs this up. But first, let's look at what women actually think about this.

Based on the results of a recent survey by The Paul Anunaso Blog, about one-third of women do not care at all about the size of their partner's penis. And even though the other two-thirds do care, they mostly prefer it to be of a moderate size. Out of 180 women who participated in the survey, 78.3% prefer a moderately long penis, compared to only 5.6% who prefer a very long one. Similarly, 76.7% of them prefer a moderately thick penis compared to only 4.4% that prefer one that is very thick. It is however noteworthy that none of them preferred a short penis, and only 3.3% prefer a slim one. Hence, for women, moderation in size is mainly important, as majority of them do not prefer big sizes at all.

So, if you are interested in doing penis enlargement even though yours is currently moderately sized, you should ask yourself this question first: Am I really getting this enlargement just to boost my manly ego, or am I doing it because I really want to improve my wife's level of satisfaction? If your answer is the former, then I advise you to reconsider your choice. But if your answer is the latter, then I think you might need some more information about how and by what women are better satisfied sexually before making up your mind.

It is interesting to know that large penis size is among the major causes of divorce. The New York Post reported the story of Aisha Dannupawa, who asked a Sharia court in northern Nigeria's Zamfara state to dissolve her marriage to Ali Maizinari in 2015 because of that. 

A lot of divorces that are associated with penile length are due to a big penis size causing the female partner pain. Women are more interested in whether you are romantic, tender and sensitive to their needs and desires, than in your penis size. In The Paul Anunaso Blog survey referenced above, the majority of women (58.9%) said their favorite sexual activity is both foreplay and penetration, followed by 16.1% and 12.2% that said that "only foreplay" and "only penetration" respectively were their preferred. 

But, 60.6% said that foreplay is their most stimulating sexual activity, followed by 27.2% who said that they were mostly stimulated through penetration. So, for majority of women, its not how much or the size with which they're penetrated that gives them satisfaction, but how much foreplay they get and how well they get it.

Furthermore, a study published in scientific journal PLOS ONE found that among a group of 545 women questioned, the men whose wives had affairs were those that had fully erect members of around six inches in length. While those whose wives were faithful had fully erect penises that were around five inches in length. “Surprisingly, a longer fully erect penis was associated with increased likelihood of the women having extra-marital partnerships” the report said. This is a leading cause of divorces. 

Surprised?

Aside from the obvious discomfort to a woman that would be occasioned by a large member, some of them are also managing a condition called vaginismus. It is a condition involving a muscle spasm in the pelvic floor muscles, which can make it painful, difficult, or impossible to have sexual intercourse, to undergo a gynecological exam, and to insert a tampon.

Secondly, among men who complain of having short penises, it is possible to find that none is in fact severely short. Most men go extra mile—as far as surgery—in order to increase penile length. But obesity and pot belly is slightly related with some cases of short penis—the penis would appear shorter if there is more fat under the skin at the visible base of the penis. Many cultures associate penis size with virility, fertility, strength and ability, but is this in fact true? No.

I know you want to ask, what is the standard average penis size? 

According to data released by ScienceMag, a flaccid penis is about 3.61 inches in length, while an erect penis is about 5.16 - 7 inches long. Also, the average girth for a flaccid penis is 3.66 inches and 4.59 inches for an erect one. But, a penis may become shorter due to cold or swimming.

You may also wonder why your penis tilts to an angle when you get an erection, as you expect it to be straight up. Please note that the tilt is normal. And there are variations in the angle an erect penis forms: some bend upwards, others downwards, while some bend slightly to either left or right. But if you have a more significant bend which causes you pain or difficulty when having sex, please see your doctor.

So why do you think your penis size is the problem? Remember how I told you that "penis size does not affect sexuality functions such as drive and orgasm"? Now here's some data to help you understand why that is so.

Let's do the math, shall we?

An unstimulated vagina is about 2.75 - 3.25 inches in length.

A stimulated vagina is about 4.25 - 4.75 inches. (Source: WebMD)

Note: The vagina extends deeper into the body.

So, an average penis size of about 5.16 inches fits well into an aroused woman's vagina. It is then how you use it that matters. 

It is true that there are micro-penises and abnormally small penises. But an average penis can perform its functions maximally, provided the vagina is not lax, as seen in cases of women who just put to bed or are pregnant.

From our calculations above, it is evident that your size is perfectly fine and enough within those ranges. Don't feel inferior or hate yourself. Be proud of you penis size. If your wife complains about it, educate her and advice her to get herself checked by a doctor. But if the problem persists, then you both should see a doctor together.

A lot of fraudsters take advantage of mass ignorance about this to sell fake creams and penis enlargement/increment drugs. Don't be deceived, it doesn't work that way.

How to measure your penile length

Get a ruler.

Position one end of the ruler at the base of the penis where it is attached to the body.

Push the ruler into the pubic bone past the hair and fat. This is important, especially if you have a lot of abdominal fat.

Take the measurement to the tip of your penis.

It is better to measure when you have an erection.

FINAL NOTE: Remember that there are different breast sizes, but every breast performs its functions regardless of size. The same applies in penis size.

Love your penis, it is yours and yours'.

Hope you have learned?

Dr. Promise Okeke is a medical doctor, entrepreneur, digital marketer and story teller. His medical and health blog on Facebook, @Dr. Promise Health Blog, provides insights and information on everyday health-related topics.

Chisom Deborah Ogbonna, a biologist in Lagos, contributed to this article.