#CHURCHTALK 23: Five Lessons from the David and Abigail lovestory

Lesson #1

The first book of Samuel, chapter 25 details the insightful story of David, Nabal and Abigail; the twist of fate and the lovestory between them. It is quite instructive, and in fact a bit of a conundrum too, that Nabal, despite being attested to be a fool, was a wealthy man also. 

Well, even if he inherited the wealth, I cannot but wonder how a fool can be so wealthy, unless there is truly no direct correlation between wealth and folly.

Oh, and he was a Judahite too. Quite instructive. Judahites were seen and reckoned as having more personal drive, intellectual acumen/dexterity compared to other tribes, so they were the ones who mostly ruled as kings and chief rulers in Israel.

If Nabal did not inherit his wealth, but amassed it, then my dilemma is worse, wondering how he was able to do that despite his foolishness.

Well, I should note at this point that his foolishness was not in a lack of good intellectual reasoning, but rather the lack of a sound/temperate/balanced one. Hence, he was described as churlish (not polite), rough, stiffnecked, stubborn, trouble, obstinate, hard-hearted, impudent, etc. Essentially, the man was highly deficient in diplomacy, wisdom and tact in interpersonal relationships. What can we learn from that?

Lesson #2

Question is, how does a man like this end up with such a beautiful and sound woman like Abigail?

Arranged marriage? Maybe. Did he woo and impress her with his intellectual sharpness? I tend to think it is the latter, because her actions in managing her home and marriage seen as I read further suggest to me a woman who was determined within herself to live with and manage her negative situation in marriage with the best positivity she could muster. That's a sign that she probably came into the marriage of her own freewill.

Also, after Nabal died and David proposed to her, she was able to accept his proposal ON THE SPOT, and there is no reference to any family member like father, mother or sibling that she has to contact first. So, she was probably a completely independent woman.

I don't want to believe that she married him just because he was rich. Her godly, wise and clever qualities defeat that line of thought. She was a woman of "good understanding", as the scripture says. What can we learn from that?

Lesson #3

See verses 9-11. For Nabal, his intellectual capacity was his greatest asset, and at the same time, his worst liability too. With it, he became and/or remained such a wealthy man; yet because of it, he kept paying through loneliness, depression, and eventually with his own life too.

What negatives do your greatest gifts impose on you? It's great that you're passionate, principled and grave. But, do you also tend to overdo things, overreach, overbear on people or things, tend not to be flexible when required, tend to take a lot of time before committing to something properly?

Lesson #4

Check Abigail's conversation with one of the servants in verses 14-17. It is quite instructive that despite the general consensus on her husband's foolish and evil nature, she didn't form an 'opposition government' in their home.

She kept it a home where, in concern, and knowing the type of person 'Oga' was, the servants would instead of revolting, seek diplomatic and calm ways of getting things done, which would benefit both they and 'Oga'.

Abigail did not break ranks with her husband, despite his foolish and evil nature. Perhaps, she was really in-love with him? Perhaps she was just being a 'good wife'? Perhaps it was because she was indeed of good understanding? Wisdom?

Perhaps, as I said earlier, she had come to terms with it and was resolute about dealing with it, with every positivity that she could muster? I think all of the above played a role. But I also believe that she really had the grace of God upon her life.

One thing is clear though: she had unconditional compassion and tender love/respect for her husband, Nabal.

Lesson #5

The error of David that day would have been grave. He would have slaughtered an entire household, simply because the man of the house refused to pay him an unlawful tax!

It is noteworthy that at this time, David was actually not a government official. In fact, he was the leader of an armed group that was on the run from government forces led by no less a person than the king himself, Saul. Can you imagine what it would have been like if Abigail did not get to him on time to stop him?

Also, this was a trap for him. He had been running from Saul mainly because, though Saul had done him wrong, he didn't want to harm him since he was God's anointed king, and he didn't want to avenge himself too. But, Nabal had also done him wrong here; so, if he had not been stopped, he would have avenged himself, using a measure that was both unreasonable and unjustifiable. This could very well have ruined or marred him.

You have to be careful to not let your emotions get the better of you in your relationships with people, especially when they do you wrong or a perceived wrong. Sometimes, it may be better to let things slide: for you may not have the grace and provision of an Abigail, to stop you beforehand.

If it's going to cost you, then it's revenge, and you should not go ahead with it. Leave it to God. David was a truly blessed man to have been intercepted that way by Abigail in verse 35.


Chukwubuikem Paul Anunaso is a CNBC Africa opinion writer and civil/structural engineer in Lagos, Nigeria. He is also the editor of The Paul Anunaso Blog, and can be reached at anunaso.cp@gmail.com

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