MASTURBATION AMONGST MILLENNIALS (BOTH LADIES AND MEN)

Many millennials masturbate, and it's not just teens, it's also young adults. That's a fact. This is partly because there is now so much support for the act than at any other time in human history. Even some medical practitioners have spoken in support of it too. And, the act is not exclusive to either one of the genders. According to the TENGA 2019 Self-Pleasure Report, 91% of men and 78% of women masturbate. Overall, 88% of millenials masturbate, with 74% of Americans using masturbation as a form of self care.

The debate about the propriety or otherwise of the act, as well as that of its merits and demerits has been going on for many years and is still in progress today. However, at different turns, we see and hear from young people who claim to have been adversely affected by it and declared that they were happy to have broken free from it. Each of them lamented the destructive and addictive toll it took on their lives. Some of them, like 19-year-old Gracelyn Sorrell of Chicago in the US, say God delivered them from it and helped them heal. 

Recently, a Harvard study suggested that for men, ejaculating as many as 21 times a month can significantly improve health and reduce the risk of having prostate cancer. It went ahead to conclude that men who masturbate more have lower risk of having cancer of the prostate later in life. Here in Nigeria, many medical practitioners also teach and give the same advise to men on the strength of this particular research. However, in an online publication, the National Health Service (NHS), UK appeared to debunk the claim made in the Harvard study report by saying that "The claim that "having 21 orgasms a month could be the key to preventing CANCER in men because it helps the prostate 'flush out toxins'" is unsupported. The claim that it flushes out toxins was not studied in this research and it is not proven that ejaculation is a "key to preventing cancer". But even if this were to be acceptable, for me though, in addition, I observe that the Harvard study specifically mentions ejaculation. Even though it also mentions masturbation as a means to that end, surely a person who is married can ejaculate as many times as they wish to within a month. I say this because I believe that engaging in any form of sex is best within the confines of marriage, and I view masturbation as a reckless abuse of one's own sexual sensibilities and sexuality by one's own self. I think its effects are more negative than positive also. I came across an article that has an unknown author which fully captures this perspective, and I decided to share it here as seen below.

VIRGINS AND MASTURBATION - Say no to Soapy

I get lots of questions on masturbation, especially from ladies - yes, ladies masturbate a lot, especially virgins. Guys also masturbate. There is no debate on that. I'm not here to argue about who masturbates most; I need to deal with a serious issue.

Sexual urge for virgins is strong. What makes it stronger is the novelty, newness, the mystery and the hear-says about sex. 

Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitoris while guys rub, massage or caress their penis. I decided to give explicit explanation because some ask me what masturbation is. Some ladies, especially non-virgins use candles, banana, small bottles, sticks, dildos or whatever represents a penis to have solo sex (having sex by yourself).

From teen age upwards, you have a strong desire for sex. It's a sure sign that you are normal and capable of having and enjoying sex in marriage. In your 20s it will be stronger and intense! You may wake up feeling horny for no single reason in the world or go hot on spotting a curvy lady! You may start noticing shapes and curves and you have to shake your head several times to keep the image off. You may get worked up on watching a romantic movie and discharge something. You check and discover you are wet. All these are normal; you haven't committed any sin yet (though you're surely knocking on the door).

So what then do you do when you get hot and horny? Have sex? I know you know my answer and some singles will never be caught dead sleeping around, so what do they do? They masturbate! They give themselves release and pleasure through solo sex while claiming virginity at the same time. Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Let me explain:

1.   Masturabation is not done in isolation. It is done with the image of someone in mind. It can be a lover, an EX, a celebrity, a married person, a crush, someone you like but incapable of having. You imagine having sex with them while masturbating. That is MENTAL FORNICATION. In fact, for Christians, Jesus Christ specifically mentioned this and condemned it outright as sinful.

2.   For young ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infections into your genitals and womb. It will then be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with any man before them, except with objects during your solo sex. In fact, you may likely feel too ashamed to admit it to them.

3.   You kill your ability to enjoy sex in the future. Millions of women don't enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, and lesbianism. If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you will likely find it hard getting it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you will likely not have feelings for your husband's penis. You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Many women who complain that their husband's penis is too small likely didn't marry as virgins. As singles, they may have had their way with themselves or with others.

4.   You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience pre-mature ejaculation and your wife won't enjoy you, leading to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure. A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating. Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated. She may become frigid and stop having sex altogether, which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair, or both of you having affairs. Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too. That is why total virginity pays!

5.   If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have a serious problem with delayed/retarded ejaculation - situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm? Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hellish for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for so long, but is unable to ejaculate. How will the woman get pregnant? It's one of the reasons why some women are seemingly "barren" but can't talk to anybody out of fear of feeling embarrassed. Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether. You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate. Abstaining from this degrading act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse, and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!

6.   You could also start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown person (demonic entities other wise known as spiritual spouse).

7.   You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.

8.   You start getting unsatisfied and wants the real thing. You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.

9.   You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects, and could start becoming promiscuous.

10. You get damaged, hurt and broken on the inside.

These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces in ways that are hardly seen by others! What then should you do with your sexual urge? How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?

1.   Avoid all dirty pictures, pornographic videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies - they are powerful sexual triggers!

2.   Discipline your heart against lusting. It is your personal responsibility to do this deliberately and always.

3.   Avoid friends who say dirty, lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.

4.   Get busy with your life, education and career; there is more to life than sex.

5.   Transmute your sexual energy: Channel your sexual energy into something great. 

6.   Avoid pornography in all forms, and romantic movies.

Masturbation is wrong, deceitful, destructive and sinful. Avoid it and/or end it speedily if you are involved in it. Pray to God for His deliverance and healing. Be reassured that God still loves you very much and wants for you to be whole again. Talk to someone who can help you today - Don't keep it to yourself because you may not be able to overcome it alone. Get a coach; someone to whom you will be answerable and who can hold your hand and guide you. God bless you.

Dr. Bola Ehinmoro, a medical doctor in Port Harcourt, Southern Nigeria, contributed to this article.